Tues/Weds Press Release

THEY Corp. reported today a possible merger between Tuesday and neighboring day, Wednesday.

Tuesday, Wednesday Negotiating Possible Merger

CHICAGO, IL. (AP) -- THEY Corp. reported today a possible merger between Tuesday and affliates and the neighboring day, Wednesday.

"This possible merger has actually been in the works for years now," a representative of Wednesday stated this morning. "A joint committe has been discussing the matter since late 1997 after the Buxley incident."

The incident the representative referred to was, of course, the morning of July 18th, 1997 at the Buxley residence in Ann Arbor, MI. On that morning, David Buxley awoke, showered, and prepared for work, only to wonder for no less than 5 minutes whether it was Wednesday or Tuesday. After consulting with his wife, Susanne, he remembered that it was, in fact, only Tuesday, but was subsequently late for work.

"Ontop of that," the VP of Public Relations for Tuesday added, "we have repeatedly heard that the two days already blurr together sometimes and we don't exactly have the same great reputation as Friday. In fact, only Monday has a worse public image."

"By combining the days," he continued, "not only would we avoid confusing moments in which people wonder "what day is this again?", we would also make Tuesday only one day away from Friday!"

Public response to the news of the merger has been mixed, at best. Many wonder about the reprecusions of such a merger.

"Well, what on earth?" Tim Muloc, a mid-level manager in downtown Chicago asked. "What's next? Monday selling its assets and calling it quits? These days have run rampant long enough. The government needs to regulate the Week industry."

Individuals are not the only ones on edge either. Already, rumors are abound within the industry about Saturday aquiring both Friday and Sunday. As insiders know, of course, Saturday already owns Sunday in certain regions--notably college campuses.

The US government still needs to approve the merger, but if approved, it would create a 6-day week, with the work week consisting of Monday, Tweudsay, Thursday, and Friday.

Anal